Friday, December 6, 2002
Another week flies by. I actually got some calls from some actor friends about that "film festival" last weekend. One of them attended, and he is still laughing about some of the films that were shown. Those poor, lost actors that are tricked into working with fanboys who think that they are directors. I guess that there is a niche for everything. If you think of it, porn films sell well, and that industry has festivals, too, that draw a crowd. It doesn't make it right, though. The independent film industry here in Florida needs to purge itself of all these companies. So far, Florida films aren't highly respected or known for their high quality (stories, acting, directing, sound, editing, etc), and that reputation is well deserved.Actors need to start picketing these companies rather than audition for them. Actors need to use common sense and safeguard their professionalism.If it would make a difference, I would be the first one to picket the next film festival these idiots have. I think that a web site should be made such as "Floridafilmsareajoke.Com", with a link to each of these companies. That would work much better, but then you'd have them crying "slander", "defamation of character" and "you'll be hearing from our attorney!". Some of these sad little companies can't handle the truth, and the truth is that they make bad films with no entertainment value which have to be marketed with exploitive tactics to sell.Actors that work with such companies need to go through life with bags over their heads, and legitimate production companies need to boycott such actors from working with them. Those actors give us all a bad name, and it's really a shame in the rare instance that the actor actually has talent. -Brian
Pet Tricks
FROM: ZanaduSUBJECT: Gerbil Power
I'm trying to teach my gerbil acting. Do you think that I can get him cast in a role? How about head shots?
I let this one through because it might be real (might, just might- odder things have happened in this industry).While rodents don't possess the capacity of true acting, it is true that there is market for animal trainers in films. Animals, from spiders to rats to grasshoppers, are sometimes called for in a script, and can be made to cooperate by understanding their behavior and applying the appropriate stimuli. Weirdly enough, crap companies such as horror film companies are the ones that use the most animals (and I'm not referring to their named talent, either, although the shoe fits quite well).I don't know of any legitimate photographers that will do head shots for your gerbil, but I do know of a certain modeling agency in the Tampa Bay area that pitches head shots for dogs and cats. There are pet photographers that you might try, as paying talent photographer rates for a rodent are just insane.I don't know about gerbils, but I could imagine a teddy bear hamster in a head shot. The 8 X 10 black and white glossy would show the little guy with his cheek pouches full of food. The thought is so cute that it's funny. I would pay to see that, although I'd probably mistakenly send those head shots out for my own, and the casting directors would think that I was nuts. Actually, That's a good idea for a prank. I could make a head shot like that and mail it to one of these crappy horror film companies. It would be made up for a hamster actor though, with such credits as a featured extra in "sewer rat party IV", or something like that. I might just do that! Could you imagine the look on the horror film people's faces when they get a great head shot of a hamster with a resume and a professional cover letter that outdoes 90% of what human actors send out? Ha ha!!!!!!!!! By the way, I'm wondering how you are teaching the little guy acting. It sounds interesting. I'm sure that little hoppy can out act those actors in this market that work with the independent film companies that do those festivals, though.-Brian
A sip of hemlock
FROM: Amanda SUBJECT: Beauty
Hi. I am an older actress who wants to be more marketable to casting directors. I am considering taking botox injections to smooth my wrinkles. Do you know of many actors who do this, and, if so, does it work for them?Sincerely,Amanda ScottSAG-AFTRA
Botox is a toxin, and it works by paralyzing nerves in the face. While it is a short term beauty solution, it is problematic at most for actors. In order to act well, actors need to control the slightest expressions in their face and body. I can't imagine an actress doing well when she can't move parts of her facial muscles.I don't know of any actors who have benefitted from having poison injected into their skin, and non actors don't benefit from it, either. Professional people need to be secure enough to be comfortable with their looks instead of changing them, and learn to market themselves within the limitations of their looks.What a world we live in.-Brian
Blinded actor finally sees
FROM: Jane SUBJECT: Film festival in question
I went to that film festival last Saturday to try to network with some of the film companies. Boy, were you guys right! All that these directors want to do is drink, hit on actresses, and watch terrible films. It reminded me of a roach hotel. I pray to God that these companies go out of business.Talk about false advertising. I went to see directors and film makers that were starting a revolution. What a bunch of no talents.
Don't worry, Jane, things will change. This situation reminds me of the old story about the emperors new clothes, when a bunch of cons made the emperor a new suit of "invisible thread". No one said a thing until a child screamed that he had no clothes during a parade.As a professional actor, I see these companies for what they are, and I won't work with them. I weep for the actors who are tricked into accepting roles in their films, though.In the short run, these people will make it. In the long run, however, they will never be anything special, and they will leave a trail of wrecked careers in their wake.I trust that you won't bother attending again?-Brian
Casting couch
FROM: MelisaSUBJECT: Casting couch actress
I've come to the conclusion that my career has been a fraud. I'm one of those actresses who gets roles by seducing casting directors and sleeping with them. In the past, I've done anything and everything to get the part. In Florida, this works well, and it's worked for me, but it recently backfired when I got pregnant and still did not get the part after all that trouble. I want to act for real. Is there any way that I can start over?
Wow. Starting over is up to you. I looked over the list of films that you have had roles in, and I have some things to say. First off, I'm not surprised that those casting directors cast their films like that. All of those films were horror, or badly made, independent films. Since those films are better left off of your resume to begin with, I don't see any reason why you can't start over as long as you can act. Good luck!
Well, that's it for this week. It's been crazy! I wish actors would start caring more about their careers, though. Hey, here's a topic for next week- What does it mean to be a professional actor? Send me some E-mails!-Brian
